It’s All Such Bullshit

Demon, by semper Thou

Officially the most depressing song on the face of the planet in history. When we got done with the mix on this one, Eric wanted a CD copy. He was going to buy a CD player and a really nice set of headphones, put this in the player, and put the package on the chick’s doorstep. I said no. No, sir, no. We gotta look out for each other!

I write and write in this blog for a couple of days and then I get burnt out on it. Especially if I have any kind of shift of conciousness that makes me step away from thinking about this stuff. I had one of those in a conversation with Jenny (my girlfriend) wherein she suggested that perhaps moving forward I should do something like being a personal trainer. Don’t know if I’ll do exactly that, but the thought gave me such relief that I no longer cared about railing on about music industry stuff.

Anyway that spurting inspiration (*snicker*) is another big thing when you’re trying to run a business in art. Good business is based on steady, predictable production, not spurting inspiration. One thing you can do is, if you’re prolific enough during your inspired times, you can create a backlog of work that you can slowly release over time in the business side of things. You just have to make sure what you’re doing will stay relevant. Stuff that’s really really current might become worthless quickly.

That’s another reason why performing live is crucial. Recordings and new songs come in spurts, but you can be on stage steadily every day in a more consistent manner than you can write new songs in a consistent manner (bullshit if you’re reading this and saying you can write a song every day from here on out, BULLSHIT - you WILL have down time and you BETTER be prepared). The key though is you can’t be all persnickidy about fresh material on stage, you have to be willing to play something a million times. Have the freshness be in each different experience, each day being different than the last, but also the satisfaction being in the wisdom of knowing that we are ever repeating, life is ever repeating, and that, if you think about it, that’s all of our goals, rather than this neo-christian-british-glory notion of “getting somewhere” we actually just hope to carry on. Endlessly repeating and repeating. If you can keep that in mind, keep in your heart a feeling of just BEING, this just IS what you are and you’re not going anywhere, you’re just living life, then you can keep performing and performing and performing.

But the problem is, when was that the attitude? Maybe if you’re David Bowie, you’re thinking you’re just maintaining and living. But if you’re an indie, you’re trying to get to being David Bowie. That constant mission and trying to become something you are currently not is ironically the biggest killer in getting somewhere because being consistent is the key to growing a business, including a musical one. You have to consistently show up for a fan base that slowly but surely grows and grows and grows.

Somebody like me tends to periodically, consistently, find the inconsistent and break down completely and reinvent. Somebody like Eric too. First being dominguez, then being semper Thou, then being Hericlitus. This is partly about being poisoned by the neo-christian-british-manifest-destiny-glory-trip but it’s also partly about being on a path of growth and creation, which means constant change. The irony is that some of the most creative and vibrant artists are that because of this nature of constant upheaval and change, and thus they’re the ones that never get anywhere.

So maybe it’s not entirely the fucked upness of the industry, but the nature of the beast itself. I’m sure there are plenty that would say that’s fine, because the point of the art is not to make money or be famous.

So all that may be why so much of what you hear that becomes “popular” is so boring and lifeless. And why there are so many things that a LOT of people know about, but most of those people don’t actually like it, and the whole boring perpetuation comes. Of course there are examples of people that break down and reinvent and make that be their strength. Madonna comes to mind. That woman reinvents her “image” every time she does an album.

But there are obviously some very crucial keys that DO NOT CHANGE with Madonna. That foundation allows her to change what doesn’t matter - her hair, her clothes. These are not the things that people latch on to. Her name, for example, cannot change. She, like any of us, would be dealt a great setback were she to decide the name needed to change. In fact that’s the number one thing, even more than the style of music. But her music, although changing much, adheres to a few basic principles, staying within a certain genre/category. She also changes ALONG WITH that genre, rather than counter to it, so she actually maintains a much more consistent connection than if her music were to remain actually static. She follows the trends, as it were.

Whether or not in her personal life she reinvents to any large degree I wouldn’t know. But you can tell that it’s happened some. Her lyrics went from bubble gum Cyndi Lauper style (that definition was vaguely recursive wasn’t it?) to sexual sex shock style to all this Om shanti shanti stuff but the progression was natural and again, she left it within the bounds of the genre. Another thing to note is, she may have reinvented her personal self to some degree, but not to the intense degree I seem to be, for example. IE: she may have changed, but she didn’t ever stop making music or think “hmm I think I’ll retire and become a personal trainer” - well maybe she thought that, but it didn’t happen.

Of course comparing her path to mine is a ridiculous thing to do, because she started out on major labels. Even if she had had times of complete seperation from it, the business of selling her music and her image was never going to stop. We would have kept seeing the imagery even if the actual Madonna human had disappeared entirely.

Hmmm. Maybe that’s the whole reason to not run the label your music is on. Maybe MOST artists disappear like I tend to. But their label carries on. The public never knows. Lest we forget, what you see on the TV is a ghost, a spook, an illusion of light and sound, it is LITERALLY only just the surface, and not the person.

You Can Never Stop Us

Oh wow I almost forgot about this one. The thing that I like about this one, actually, is how there’s this group of dudes (multiple version of me of course) saying “you can never stop us” real fast and for most of the time, it just sounds like rhythm instruments, but then at times I notice “oh yeah those are dudes saying you can never stop us!” That’s neat

There’s really a mixed message in this piece of poem. It’s interesting, because I do that a lot, but I think that makes a more accurate representation of “truth”. “Truth” isn’t this black and white thing where you can take one position. I’ve always said (not always - but a long time) that “truth is a mobius” - meaning that if you take a “position” on something, and follow the train of logic long enough, you’ll find yourself saying the opposite of what you started saying. I think this is part of the fundamental nature of things, where reality is paradoxical - and we do find that most of the greatest truths ARE very paradoxical. Committment-Non-Attachment is one of the major ones.

When it comes to this poem, there isn’t really a paradox as much as a double-edged sword. I was ranting about the wonderfulness of monkeys (monkeys still of course being a very thinly veiled metaphor for humanity) and I say how we dance on the corpse of impossibleness and it seems that this is good news to me, and I like it, and I want it. And then I say how we will adapt, and that still seems to be good news, but then in the next line I say “too dry, monkey? casinos with water fountains every 30 feet” and at that point it no longer seems like good news. Now I’m saying this is ridiculous, we’re not accepting, in effect, we’re NOT adapting, we’re forcing the environment to adapt, we’re trying to put water where this is not water.

And that does sort of emphasize again the mobius nature of truth and reality. We start out with adapting, take it too far, and come out not adapting. Doing the very opposite. And well, I guess I just become another person pointing out that there can be too much of a good thing, that anything taken too far is too much.

I guess that’s why some wise people say “everything in moderation, even moderation.”

The “lyrics” in question:

allow me to introduce myself
i’m the tallest monkey in the clouds
and you can never stop us
because monkeys know just what to do
where to do it
and how

you can never stop us
you can never stop us
you can never stop us
you can never stop us
you can never stop us
you can never stop us
you can never stop us
you can never stop us
you can never stop us
you can never stop us
you can never stop us
you can never stop us
you can never stop us
you can never stop us
you can never stop us
you can never stop us
you can never stop us
you can never stop us
you can never stop us
you can never stop us
you can never stop us
you can never stop us
you can never stop us
you can never stop us

Run, by Third Option

Pretty sure I improv’d this whole piece of poem here to tape. I remember a few days later I did an improv based on this - or - wait - it could be - yes I think it is - I think it’s reversed. What really happened was I did an improv with this refrain “run out the door we don’t need no more plastic floors” at a youth/teen slam in Spring, TX which I was hosting. We had a little round of doing improv and they all wanted me to try, and something like this is what I said. I didn’t say monkeys, but I did use that run out the door thing. I remember that I did it much better at the slam, actually. I remember I kind of starting taking off and getting into this socio political shit about 7up bottles and plastic floors and it was really powerful and people were like “WOW! DAMN! AMAZING! HOLY SHIT!” and such.

Yeah, and then this time, I didn’t quite get the same badassness as at the slam, but I got somethin.

That reminds me of this one guy who used to slam around the nation. His name was Abraham and he was from the south somewhere. He had a really sort of huck finn/way spiritual vibe - not straight essay style easy to understand spoken word like they do in slam nowadays, but poetry stuff, but he’d really go off. And he was an amazing improv person. I saw him improv at the Taos Poetry Circus slam and the thing about him was, his improv, the stuff that just came to mind for him, was the same as his written poetry. He just thought and talked like that. I mean I guess he didn’t talk like that if you sat at coffee with him, but when he improv’d it was no less poetic and crafted and beautiful. He could probably improv and you wouldn’t be able to tell. But not like guys who write as if they were talking or writing a prose essay. Like a POET, which was really weird and amazing to watch. He would just launch into this spiritual flight immedietly. I really tried to take him into me and have his thing become a part of my style. He was fuckin amazing. I wonder whatever happened to that guy.

Anyway here’s what’s on the record as far as poem for “Run”:

run
run
run out the door
run out the door
we don’t need no more plastic floors
run
run
out the door
where the tree lined skies begin again
run
out the door
run out the door
we don’t need no more plastic floors
run out the door
run out the cage
run out the stage
run off the stage
run off this stage of monkey lies and monkey things
and monkey things we must not do run
out the door
run out the door
we don’t need no more plastic floors
we got dirt
we got soil
we got the red wet earth
run out the door
run out the door
we don’t need no more plastic floors
we don’t need no more plastic floors
we don’t need no more plastic floors
monkeys
belong
in trees
in jungles
in the earth
on the earth
on the red wet earth
we don’t need no more plastic floors
we don’t need no more
plastic floors

Artistic Apocalypse, by M.C. Murph

Well, here’s the title track. I remember Manny Rettinger said I absolutely needed to redo the chorus singing better. I wish I’d've listened to stuff like that. But it was so hard to get back in the studio for a mix, partly because mixing on an analog board means you can’t just recall it and make a fix. Man we used to take sheets of paper and write down where all the knobs were set and patch cables were plugged. Holy CRAP that was complicated. 24 tracks each with 10 knobs, plus 10 outboard processors. Recalling that is a nightmare, let me tell you.

Anyway I didn’t redo those vocals. Man I didn’t realize how compressed that snare drum is. It sounds strange, but neat in a way.

Anyway boy howdy, I guess I doomed myself to never working with any mo-town people on this record. I also wish I wouldn’t have that strange wigger accent on my r’s. It’s actually easier to rap that way, though.

Well, what else can I say? Enjoy this rendition of smooth jazzy trip hop anger.

Still, Murphurd’s Slow And Unrequited Love Mix

Ok. Lot to explain on this one! First of all, Murphurd. For those of you who know me as Murph, Murph is actually short for Murphurd. I got the name Murphurd freshman year in high school, damn near the first day. I was new to town. I was in science class, I asked this dude Andrew (I think) if he had a pencil. I was mumbling. I mumbling often then. He said “murphurd?”, you know how people do where they repeat the gibberish you sound like you’re saying? You say “are you here for pizza?” and they say “what? hurforpeets?” Well “do you have a pencil?” was somehow “murphurd?”. Like three times in a row. Finally I just gave up and said “yeah, Murphurd”.

From that moment on, partly because the dude didn’t know my name anyway, he just started calling me Murphurd. He never knew I was asking for a pencil. He just thought I was being a weirdo, all the more reason to name me what I was saying. I often WAS being a weirdo like that, (still am), and so it made sense, even though ironically, weirdo I was not being that particular time.

Of course Murphurd quickly shortened to Murphurd, but the honors class kids I went through all of high school with would be just as likely to call me Murphurd. All you cats who came around AFTER high school, when M.C. Murph and then just Murph were my stage names, you wouldn’t call me Murphurd. But cats from high school, they certainly might.

On to the word “slow”. Well, I thought this was so cool. I took I think the whole mix of the original Still track, minus vocals and played it back with this hard drive recorder called the Darwin I was using. The Darwin had a shuttle wheel, where you could hold it and turn it to play or fast forward or rewind. You could hold the wheel in one spot and have your audio play back at 2 times the speed, or 4, or even slow. If you held it right in the right spot, you could play a whole song back at the same screwy speed. Nowadays you can just tell some software to slow down or speed up something, and you could then too, but the software and computers were more expensive, and all I had was this Darwin machine. So I was playing it back with the wheel and did it slow one time, and it sounded neat. So what I did was, I put another Darwin on record (ok ok I had two - and they were like 3 grand a piece I admit) - wait did I have two at that time? I put SOMETHING on record at regular speed, and then I held that shuttle wheel in the exact right spot for like 10 minutes and recorded this mega slow version of the tune. Well it just so happened that the speed was a perfect multiple - I think a quarter - of the original speed. So what I could do was, I could bring in the normal speed song later and have it be perfectly in sync. And I put vocals in different spots, re-recorded the poem with me saying it, etc. We used this mix (minus the vocals, ’cause we were performing them) to start our Third Option show most of the time, actually. I always thought it was a neat mysterious intro. It comes on slow so you could sort of start it early and come to the stage just in time.

Anyway the result is the Murphurd’s Slow And Unrequited Love Mix, and that slow down process is why it’s a 10 minute long version. I guess I felt like I should use the whole thing *eyeroll*.

Oh I didn’t explain the unrequited love part. Well, at that time, there was a Third Option act, and we hadn’t done the Cult Of Nice record yet, and we were in Albuquerque and going all around doing our shtick, and the act was a duo, me and Tamara. But at that time me and Tamara weren’t dating. There was this kind of 9 month period between the time me and my girlfriend before had broken up where I was all about the getting with Tamara but she wasn’t all about the getting with me.

I guess sometime during the creation of the Still EP, we finally started moving that direction. I actually remember the date when we first “went beyond friends” (to put it politely), but not exactly where we were in the production process.

The point is, eventually, I named this mix the Unrequited Love Mix - I think because I did the whole thing in a sort of all night binge of disturbed creativity that was disturbed due to the unrequited love situation.

So it was quite a bold thing to say, seeing as how the subject of disturbance was IN THE BAND. Sort of like a Mama’s and Papa’s story I heard once.

Last piece of trivia: If you were to buy the disc, there’s a typo ion the cd packaging. It says “Muphurd’s Slow And Unrequited Love Mix” (missing an r in Murphurd).

Love to y’all!

Man the hardest part about a production is the drums. Well, that is, if you want real drums. It really is HELL. Because you have to find a drummer that can do the job, find a kit (hopefully that drummer can do it), find the studio time at the right studio, book it, get it right. With money it’s easier, but really if you’re not in a normal “band”, the drum part of a production is simultaneously the most crucial-make-or-break part, and the hardest part to get right.

But with the net and digital audio and stuff, I’ve been experimenting with collaborating with people by sending them a rough mix and asking for a guitar part or whatnot, and recently I realized “there must be professional drummers with well equipped drum recording studios out there who will remotely collaborate!” and sure enough, I’ve found at least one that I’m trying out.

I don’t know if this remote collaboration trend is ENTIRELY healthy though. Not having to relate face to face and be together is yet another example of the computer “age” ruining our connectedness. But I’m doing it, partly because I fear people on occassion, and partly because fuck it let’s try. At least I’m not text messaging anymore. And I am going to do some collaborating with REAL people here in town.

Nevertheless it’s exciting to be able to collaborate this way. I have several tracks out there pending possible work from several friends who are spread out all over. I’ve gotten one back so far, a couple of tracks in the very newest Third Option project. My girlfriend is napping in my bed right now, perhaps I’ll set up a mic and wake her up and say “hey sing for me”.

If only she would learn screamin lead rock guitar…

I’ve been in lots of studios, compared to the average person, and I have to tell you, when I listen to the latest Madonna stuff, I cannot for the life of me understand it. These mixes sound SO incredible on EVERY damn speaker. I hear the stuff and I say “how the hell do they DO this?”. I cannot understand how it gets so present. And I have a master’s degree in “computer research in music and acoustics” aka “music, science and technology” from Stanford University.

I mean is it just the effort/time put in? I mean for sure you can’t go from something, say, I’ve done and make it turn into this stuff just in the final mastering stage. That much is obvious. But even the mixes, it’s like they’ve got better sources to begin with. I - I - I. Erg man.

Listening to Madonna’s “Confessions On A Dance Floor” right now on some new little studio monitors I got. Goddang.

That’s the thing that making recordings has always been for me. This relentless need to make it sound “real”, to make it sound as good as the records I hear. Unfortunately I feel like I’m just perpetually behind. Granted I work with comparatively NO resources. But that’s something that always grated on me, was that in order to do recordings that well, you have to try and access this money and power thing.

I guess that’s true about most things. That sort of brings up the question of where money, power and intent cross over.

I’ll come back and edit this and put some sort of link to a track from this record when I’m not so tired.

Goody Proctor by Third Option

This was fun. I kept being moved by it. The samples I took from a cassette tape of an audio play - or maybe it was a recording of a theater production of The Crucible. I don’t really remember who it was that did it. I think it’s in the credits on the album cover.

LIFE, WOMAN! A lot of times in life nowadays I’ll randomly say “there is blood on my head! cannot you see the blood on my head???” and this is where I get that. It’s fun. “HUSH!”

I am innocent to a witch! I know not what a witch is! How do you know then that you are not a witch??

THAT is some McCarthy era shit right there. Or some now era shit! *laughs and laughs*

I don’t even know what a terrorist IS!! THEN HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU ARE NOT A TERRORIST???

How do YOU know, that you are not a terrorist?? - A message from Homeland Security

I don’t want to call this an experiment ’cause that jacks with my sense of it being worthwhile. This is a new blog, where I’m gonna talk about my music, and I might talk about other music or even art. I’m just gonna talk about it, from a conceptual or emotional level. I’m probably going to post a lot of mp3s to download because ultimately I want more people to listen to and enjoy the stuff. I might talk about other people’s stuff, and I might refrain from getting into whether stuff is good, bad, etc. Let’s be clear, though, I’m not a reviewer, I’m not a press person, I’m not even really a label exec (even though I own my label). I’m just an artist and most of the bullshit around it has gotten so old.

So now there’s a couple of us, me and Iguanamind/Larry and monkeyking/Troy specifically, who’ve been developing this new way of thinking about art and music, and originally it had a lot of “let’s make a revolution” in it, but over the years, I think we’ve all come to this need for relief. We’re not fucking politicians, we’re musicians. All we ever wanted to do was just make the stuff. For me, it’s still not about just making it, but sharing it, and that’s where things go awry, because then it gets to be about promotion, and popularity, and competition, and man, this stuff, the message that I’m receiving in the melodies, the one that’s straight from God or the Universe or whatever, has nothing to do with all that.

So first I started changing my NQuit site to just be about presenting the content, and then Larry convinced me yesterday that creating this blog which is not about promotion, not even about technical stuff, just a thing to basically express, and let whoever will appreciate it come, would be a healthy thing.

I don’t know if I’ve said anything clear there. It doesn’t matter. I’m gonna put a link now to a really really old track, but I don’t care, because I really just want to put as much content up as possible, so fuck it, I’ll start with stuff that’s 13 years old! It’s my old stage name, and I think it’s dorky so I dropped it, but here’s a track:

Magnetic Poetry by M.C. Murph